You left me and meg on the fourth of july. The United States of America was celebrating, it was also meant to be a joyous day because it was also tita ely’s birthday. Why on that day mom? What was your reason? Where are the promises that was made before you left us?

   It has been 13 long years since you ended your worldly pain. I was 13 back then. Also, it has been 13 days past your death anniversary.

   Since, your departure mom, life did not go smoothly as we planned before. I never got to HongKong. I never enrolled in Don Bosco. Dad acted foolishly since you went away. It has been a pebble-pegged road. I never got the chance to take the entrance exam for PMA because I broke my hand before college graduation. Dad, never bought me a car to take me to places. Instead, our savings in the bank was taken by her “woman.” Dad remarried, but not legally though, there are still questions about the celebrations validity.

   We took care of meggie real well. Thanks to Tita L. she was like a mother to her. As to me, I’m always the odd one out in the family. After you’re gone, I slept on the couch. I’m still sleeping on the couch though. I never had the chance to have my own room, yup, even the one that you made for me in Alfonso. Dad did some things that was well off the plan.

   Mom, I’m in my sixth year in law school. Yes, you heard it right, I’m in my sixth year. Hopefully, I graduate this year. I ask for your spiritual help on this. My life has gone in many directions.

   What made me sad Mom is that I didn’t have the chance to introduce you to my past girlfriends, nor I had the chance to ask your advice on the matters of the heart. There was one thing that did happen according to your prediction, I made them cry. You said, it was because of the discreet mole on my cheek. I never understood Dad’s advice, he said I should have as many girlfriends as possible. I can’t though, its very expensive to have one, what more if I had another. We’re not that financially as supported before mom. Even the food on the shelf, we’re off-limits because our stepmother does not like the idea that we have an easy life.

   It’s been thirteen years and your loss is still felt. I’m sorry if don’t frequent your grave, I’m kind of busy, or at least that’s my reason; but i know you’ll understand your wayward son. Mom, if you can hear me, guide me. I’m still your little boy. I may not be a good boy lately, but I’m trying not to dissapoint you and Dad. If you’re alive, I would like to see your smile again.

   Mom, I miss the days that you made our house alive. The family is divided. I’m trying to be strong for the family. I hope, you, mama, papa, lolo benben, and lola josefa will give me the strength, wisdom, and enlightenment to face my challenges. As quoted, the woods is dark and deep, I have miles to go before I sleep, please show me the light, awaken my soul, and enlighten my heart. Help me find the right path.